P.S. X-nay the last post title

This has definitely not been a summer like any other. It was deceiving and started out that way but this last week has been H-E-Double Hockey Sticks! It would have been completely that place if I didn't take advice from friends, Mom, bishop and my Lord and Savior. If I did the normal, humanly thing to do and be selfish...this would have turned into a much harder situation. For the past week I had to deal with the possibility of losing the apartment I've been staying in all summer. And after many tear filled nights and prayers and exercising my jaw to produce words so much, I am pooped. But I still have a fight to fight...all is not resolved and well. One major thing did get resolved tonight and I'm hoping everything will work well for those who had to deal with the changes put to them. It took 2 hours to discuss this problem so that the other side would completely understand where I was coming from. There were so many details that contributed to every little thing that had to be explained. It was not taken well at first...but after this other side saw the whole picture and everything I had to go through to make this solution possible...it became clear. Tonight there have been many prayers and blessings pronounced and I want to publicly thank my Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ for making a way through a path that was covered with unrelenting mud and thorns. Without drawing on that Power from on High, there would not be a peaceful people in a peaceful apartment tonight. I witnessed a miracle, was right in the middle of it and was a part of it and it was a grand thing to see unfold. I don't understand how anyone can get through this life, or I should say, the very rough patches of the road, without Him. Without His guidance, love, compassion, empathy and healing power. Power is a driving factor in so much of our life, that's why it is so important to make sure you know where that power is coming from and what it can do to your life....depending on what source it is coming from. Priesthood is power. The power of God to be used on earth by those who hold it honorably and worthily. And womanhood and motherhood has just as much power. They have to co-exist or else one is not complete without the other. Each one grants power to the other and it is an equal sharing with different responsibilities. I know the Priesthood has given me power tonight as a woman to get through this task I did not want to do. The thought of it made me feel nauseous of having to hurt someone else temporarily so that they could see what was best for everyone. This power is not something you can describe until one has felt it themselves. One by one is the way of the Lord. Individual. Personal. Unconditional Love. But one by one we have to realize that it is ultimately our choice to accept his always open arms. He will not force us, He cannot force us. He will tell us over and over again to Come Unto Him...it will always be our responsibility to hear Him and learn how he quietly and peacefully tells us the answer that is best for our soul. It's not that he doesn't talk to us, no one can ever say that because they will eventually come to realize it was "me" who did not listen or hear, or did not do so long enough.

I know this is all true. And me being human, I will doubt almost positively again this same thing. That is another reason why I wrote this down, so I can come back and remember how I once strongly felt. It will always be deep down, down to my core...I might unintentionally pile other worries on top of it. Then I will be humbled once again and remove all the unnecessary and come back to what I've always known and what has always been so simple. My Sunday School teacher shared this quote this Sunday, she did not say who said it, it says: "We are not human beings, we are human becomings." We are not here to be who we naturally tend to be, we are here on earth to become what God knows us to be. And I say this and dedicate it only to the One who made this possible to believe and know, the only One who has given me and all his brothers and sisters hope, in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.